Aeternus
by Kanoi-chan
Summary: A collection of short Destiel ficlets. Rating subject to change
1. Tainted Things

...I did a thing... I have made the first, shaky step into SPN fanfic. Mostly, this was just an attempt to get into the tone of Supernatural and test out the voices of the characters. I'm fairly pleased with it as far as that goes, so probably be expecting more Supernatural fanfic from me in the future. What am I getting myself into? Lol.

This is maybe, kind of Destiel if you squint really hard? But I don't think it really strays too far from how they act in canon, and there's nothing explicitly romantic, so... yeah. Squinting. As far as timeline/setting, I had the start of the future Dean saw back in season 4, like... very start to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, and am making no monetary gains from this. It was written purely for enjoyment.

* * *

Every flake that landed on him burned at his skin, a haunting reminder of his humanity. The snow did, however, create a rather beautiful scene; he had to admit that much. It almost reminded him of a Heaven he once seen that belonged to an old Inuit woman. Her's had been much more spectacular, of course, and the cold had bothered him far less back then.

"Hey, Cas, what are you doing out here?"

Castiel turned to regard Dean dispassionately, watching as the hunter pushed aside a tree limb, dumping accumulated snow all across the ground. The irony of him disturbing something so pure was not lost on Castiel.

"I was merely admiring the snow covering the forestation," he answered.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Right... Well listen, we need to get moving. We got a lead on some demons close to Lucifer."

"Of course, Dean. My apologies," Castiel replied, turning to follow Dean back to the Impala.

"Cas, man, you need to be more aware of the weather," Dean said, dropping the fallen angel's trench coat over Castiel's shoulders. "You forgot that back at the hotel."

Castiel looked Dean in the eyes. "Thank you, Dean."

They stood staring at each other for a solid moment before Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Right... No problem. Now let's roll."

The hunter quickly turned and walked back the way he came, leaving dirty footprints in his wake.

How typical of Dean to not realize the way he tainted the pure things in life, and yet still, Castiel followed behind.

* * *

Decided to start posting my Destiel drabbles all in one place on here since it seems there are going to be a lot more than I initially anticipated. This ship/fandom has taken over my life...


	2. Fall to Ruin

So this started nagging at me, and I had to write it. Not too sure how I feel about it. Some parts I really like, others just feel really awkward to me. Oh well. I tried.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, at all. I am making no profit from this, and this is done purely for entertainment.

* * *

Castiel had never wanted before meeting Dean Winchester. Then he raised the man from perdition, and the way the flames licked his being, the way the sulfur had overwhelmed his senses as he pulled the Righteous Man from perdition, had caused him to feel, for the briefest of moments, a want. He had not known what it was at the time, but time with the Winchesters acquainted him with many new sensations and thoughts. Eventually, as he fought for the free will he so desperately craved, he identified it. But he knew not what the wanting was for, and so he continued to focus on the litany of other wants Dean had introduced him to.

Castiel had kissed Meg once before. She said it had left her feeling clean. It had left him feeling dirty, brimstone and smoke and pure, unadulterated temptation on his lips, and he'd wanted more. Had gone in for more. It left him wanting, wanting more than he could ever remember wanting anything. Wanting for what, he still had no clue.

Dean was a demon now, tower over Cas- Cas with his stolen and fading grace, a joke and a husk of the soldier he had once been. And Dean's lips tasted of brimstone and sulfur and all the things that reached inside the angel and made the want, want, wanting oh so painfully present. He clutched at Dean, moaning in a demand for more as the demon pulled away with a smirk, black eyes raking over the angel's debauched face.

"Corruption looks good on you," Dean praised, the smirk looking so good on those gorgeous lips that Cas just wanted back on his. The demon leaned down, touching his lips to the shell of Castiel's ear, drawing his tongue across it before whispering, "Someone should have ruined you long ago."

And then his lips were back on Cas's, all tongue and teeth and dominance, and the angel reveled in the corruption, even as he could feel the vestiges of grace recoiling against the absolute want for sin.


	3. Bleed You Dry

So... I have a Holy Hell problem... Anyway, this was inspired by the song "Blood" by In This Moment, and I actually suggest listening to the song, at least once anyway lol. I heard it and knew it was the perfect Holy Hell song.

This is unbeta'd, so try to be a little forgiving of errors.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, if I did... we might have to move the show to HBO for season 10...

* * *

They're fucked up, and he knows it. Even through the haze of "don't-give-a-shit" that demonity has given him, he knows they're so beyond fucked up that it should be horrifying. He is well aware that these feelings aren't normal, even as he's thrusting into the body in front of him, fingers snaking through sweat-soaked hair to pull the fallen angel roughly back against him, pulling him off of all fours by his hair, the new angle changing the soft groans of pleasure into sounds that are completely wrecked as the angel cums against his own stomach, Dean continuing to abuse his body until the demon has spent himself as well.

He tosses Cas back onto the bed, and then falls down beside him. His eyes flash back from black to green, as he watches Cas watch him, something reverential in the angel's eyes.

He hates the angel, should hate him, blames him for everything, and rightly so. If Cas had never lifted him out of hell, never continued to put Dean's life above anyone else's, never tried to convince Dean he was worth something, they wouldn't be here. Sure, Dean would have probably become a demon eventually, torturing souls up on that rack probably offering a couch class ticket to a soul smoldering with brimstone, but it wouldn't have been first class like the mark had been. So, Dean hates him, and it twists with the love he'd felt as a mortal, the love he'd always been to afraid of to mention, to create something truly grotesque. It leads to feelings of possession, wanting nothing more than to brand his own kind of mark in to the angel's very soul, until Castiel is his both in and out, until all of creation knows that the fallen angel of the lord belongs to Dean Winchester, Knight of Hell. And it roils in his gut constantly, a burning reminder of want and weakness.

But if Dean is fucked up, Cas is even worse off. Castiel gave into him with no fight. Sure, he'd put on a show for Sammy, but it wasn't real. Dean could tell it wasn't real. Years of playing off a person gave you the ability to read them that way, and Castiel's fight had never been more than a ruse. And the reverential looks, like he was more than happy to fall to Hell and be used to Dean's satisfaction, was slowly driving him insane, the presence greater than the first blade's had ever been, and it makes the brimstone in his soul burn hotter than hell ever did.

That look taunts him, and before he even knows what he's doing, he's gripped Cas tightly by his hair and wrenched him in for a violent amalgamation of a kiss. The angel moans, like he fucking loves the abuse, and, shit, maybe he does. This is the same guy who elected to stay in purgatory because he thought he deserved to be punished. And who is Dean to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He revels in the debauchery, they both do, and it's a testament to how fucked up they've been from the start. But Dean was too afraid in humanity to ever act, so now as a demon he has every intention to take, take, take until Cas has nothing left to give. And Castiel seems to be willing to give it all, everything Dean asks of him and more, so who is Dean to throw away such a pretty offer? Not a fool, that's for sure.

* * *

I... am not sure how I feel about this one? It didn't flow in quite the way I wanted it to, but... I don't know. I may, possibly, at some point, do a companion piece to this from Cas's POV. Just depends how I feel.


	4. So What If It Was Selfish?

Not exactly a destiel piece, but it's not really **not **one either, so... Kind of just throwing it here since I don't know where else to throw it.

* * *

The apple pie life- it isn't all it's cracked up to be, Dean decides, but it's still light-years better than hunting. Even if hunting is something that's seeped into his bones, something he might even kind of be missing, he knows he can't go back. Not because of last minute promises to Sammy, but because he can't stand the ugly mugs of every other mangy hunter out there. What good had they been? What had any of those assholes actually done to help stop the apocalypse? Nothing, as far as Dean can see.

Why did it have to be the Winchesters that ended it? When did the big, cosmic joke become that they were in charge of protecting the Earth from all the plots conceived of Heaven, Hell, and whatever fell between? How did searching for their dad turn into preventing the end of days? What? Because some douche bag angels decided they wanted to wear the brothers to the prom? Or was it because the Winchesters had their own angel at their disposal? Not that he hadn't been basically out of commission half the time.

So fuck them. Let everyone else deal with whatever comes next; Dean is washing his hands of the whole thing. He's down a brother and a best friend, so the world can be down him. He stopped the fucking downfall of humanity. He deserves a fresh start.


	5. Dean Winchester is Dead

Prompt from PandoratheFox: Can you write a poem/drabble (doesn't matter which) about how Castiel is feeling when Metatron tells him Dean Winchester is dead in the season finale?

…I think I blacked out slightly while writing this lol.

* * *

Dead...

Dead..

_Dead._

The word played over and over in his head, a tinny ring to it, as it ricocheted off the walls of his mind- the corners of a worn down old ware house; the windows a black, classic car speeding down the highway; the deep valleys of purgatory.

**Dead.** Dean Winchester is _(saved)_ **dead**.

It wasn't real. Couldn't be real. Couldn't matter. The Winchesters had died before, all of them, even the adopted angel in their midst. They always came back. It would be the same, had to be the same. It was the only way he could get through this encounter, finish what he started, finish what he had to do, even as he stared at the soiled angel blade.

It was Dean's blood, could be no other's. Castiel would know it for all his days longer, whether that was eternity or only hours more; he would know it always. It was as much a part of him as his vessel had become, more a part of him than the stolen grace. He had rebuilt Dean Winchester all those years ago, a minute ago of his existence, but a lifetime ago in so many other ways. That blood was his as well, and it sang in his head weak and fragile songs as only Dean's soul could do.

And stolen grace was useless, tempering out, slowly flickering away to nothing, and it could offer him no power to seek out the reassurance of the Righteous Man's soul beyond the small flecks left on that blade.

He should kill Metatron with that blade. And then he would save Dean Winchester once more- he had been born with no cause but that one, and he would make it so.


	6. The Mysterious Case

Prompt from PharoComics: Zachariah and Gabriel have a contest for who can prank and drive insane the Destiel pairing the most. Dean and Cas just want to have a relaxing weekend together. The hell can they not be left alone?!

This is complete crack, which I have never claimed is my forte, so... hopefully it is enjoyable all the same.

* * *

"I will admit, the plane thing was pretty good!" Gabriel conceded, though his speech was slightly garbled due to the sucker in his mouth.

"That was not the intended result.." Despite Zachariah's consternated tone, however, he looked thoroughly pleased with himself.

Gabe let out a bark of laughter. "All the better!"

Zachariah's grin just grew larger.

Gabe sobered up quickly, leaning forward into Zachariah's personal space. He pulled the sucker from his mouth and grinned dangerously. "Bet I can do better, though."

Zachariah got a challenging glint in his eye. "We'll see about that."

* * *

It was **supposed to be **a relaxing weekend. They'd finished the hunt in record time, so, for once, they figured they'd take a well-deserved break from monster-chasing and apocalypse-stopping. Bear in mind the operative phrase here- "supposed to be."

They were in a small town that still seemed to have plenty of things to do, things that would cater to all three men's interests. Well, more two of the men's interests, as the angel among them didn't actually seem to have many interests besides Dean. Dean seemed wholly okay with that, but Sam insisted that the two were not allowed to stay in the motel room the whole weekend just to paw at each other. In the end, they "compromised" that Dean and Cas would "sleep in" and then Dean would show Cas some perks of being human (it wasn't exactly a compromise considering Sam's only other choice was bearing witness to his brother sucking face with a freaking angel of the Lord).

So it was all **supposed to be **perfectly normal and relaxing. Only that it wasn't. They'd chalked it up to bad luck and coincidence, at first. That was when it was simple things like their row boat capsizing (the "romantic boat ride" thing had been all Sammy's idea, and Cas had lit up like Christmas at the notion, making it impossible for Dean to actually say no) or the big, burly guy at the bar propositioning Castiel (Dean totally **wasn't **jealous, he was just defending Cas's honor because the angel totally needed him to do that. Totally. After all, Cas didn't fully understand human interaction, so it wasn't jealousy that prompted him to punch the guy... and then end up with his own black eye while Cas was the one who ended up twisting the guy's arm until he cried uncle... This argument was starting to seem weak) or even when Cas somehow got white girl wasted after only two or three beers (hell! That had been good luck! Unless you asked Sam, who had had to spend the night in the Impala).

No. It didn't necessarily seem like anything supernatural at all until Dean woke up faced with a Castiel in the body of a seventeen-year-old Jimmy Novak. And hell, he wasn't exactly complaining because the guy had apparently been even more of a looker in his youth ("Dean Winchester, you are not a dirty old man" became his new internal mantra), but it certainly wasn't **normal**.

Sam's first thought was witches (Dean's first thought was _Holy shit, my boyfriend is a twink. I wonder if he has the stamina of one... Dean Winchester, you are not a dirty old man!_), but it seemed unlikely. They'd come through town on a ghost hunt, and that had gone incredibly well. Sam was knee deep in researching it while Dean claimed to be helping (Cas somehow doubted repeated rounds of sexual intercourse necessarily counted as helping, but he wasn't complaining. Though the perks of his younger vessel having more vitality seemed to suddenly not be so much perks as pains in the ass when his stamina outlasted Dean's. That is until Dean had let him top. That seemed to work out well). By the evening, the spell/curse/whatever apparently wore off though (which Dean was perfectly fine with because while it had been fun while it lasted, he wasn't sure his heart could take much more). Sam was just glad he had the option of moving back into the room (though he was terribly leery of all surfaces).

Their relaxing weekend seemed to be turning more into a three ring surface (which was never more true than in the instance a fucking monkey popped out of no where and stole Sam's ice cream cone).

("What? Don't give me that look, Zach. A man's gotta eat."

"...")

(Promptly after that, a fucking bird stole Dean's goddamn cheeseburger!)

They went to bed Sunday night never more ready to leave the zany town that apparently had suffered an unannounced zoo escape.

Unfortunately, the next morning fared no better.

Dean glared at his brother and boyfriend who were both staring at him in shock (well, it was more just Sam that was staring in shock. Cas just looked terribly critical... or confused. It was hard to tell some days). "What!?" he snapped, really not in the mood for whatever was running through their minds. He felt off this morning, and it felt like his clothes had stretched in the middle of the night. He was just ready to get away from whatever bullshit was in this place.

"Dean... You... you should probably look in the mirror."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Sammy! Just tell me!"

Sam's face turned an awkward hue of... well, it was honestly somewhere between looking ashen and blushing.

Cas's brow just furrowed more.

"Jesus Christ! What!"

Cas stared at him dead on, eerily calm. "It would appear you have woken up as a women."

If life were a cartoon (which he wasn't completely convinced it wasn't by this point), Dean's pretty sure his eyes would have popped out of their sockets.

"What!?" he shouted, bolting out of the bed and into the bathroom. The scream that followed had both of the other men (or did they count as the only men now?) wincing.

Sure enough, the reflection that stared back at Dean was 100% female, all slender arms and long hair (how did he not notice the hair?). Worst of all, though, he didn't even have large breasts. Nope. He was simply just this side of an A-cup. Shock was quickly fading into morbid curiosity though, and as he was just about to take a peek under his clothes, Sam chose that exact moment to walk in.

"Dean, are you okay?"

"Damn it, Sammy! Can't a man look at his vagina in peace!?"

"SERIOUSLY DEAN!?"

A sibling squabble broke out in the bathroom, that ended with Sam physically hauling Dean back into the room proper ("Don't you know better than to hit a girl, Sam!?" "You aren't a real girl, **Deanna**!").

When they finally got back into the room, they found Cas staring at the ceiling, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Dean struggled and slapped at Sam until his (her?) damn moose of a brother let go. Then he took a step towards the angel. "What's up, Cas?"

Castiel didn't spare Dean a glance, continuing to watch the ceiling as though it had personally offended him. "I think we aren't dealing with a witch."

Dean stared in confusion, completely over life by this point. "Then what the hell is it?":

Sam gasped behind him, as though he'd just solved some Scooby Doo type mystery. "Does that mean...?"

Castiel nodded gravely.

Dean glared at both of them, still feeling completely in the dark and hating every moment of it. Finally, he snapped, "Then what the hell is it!?"

"Angels," casually said a voice that did not belong to any of them.

They all whipped around to spot none other than Gabriel.

"You son of a-" Dean growled out, ready to lunge at the trickster/pagan god/arch angel, but Cas held him back.

Sam took to glaring at the other angel, which was met with a saucy wink. Sam growled out, "Change my brother back."

Gabriel shrugged casually. "Would that I could, my dear moose friend. But I can't, so I shan't"

The Winchesters were starting to turn a little red in the face, probably from holding in murderous intent.

Castiel, in the interest of his brother's safety, asked, "Then who did it?"

Gabriel just smirked casually, and then with a snap of his fingers Zachariah appeared.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" was Dean's rageful shout, while at the same time Sam cried out, "WHAT THE HELL!?"

Castiel simply glared at the both of them. "Change him back."

Zachariah smirked. "Not until Gabriel admits he lost."

Gabe snorted. "As if, man. I totally have not lost yet."

"Yet!?" the Winchesters cried.

Castiel glared harder.

"So that means you guys were behind this whole weekend?" Sam asked, flabbergasted.

Gabriel and Zachariah shrugged noncommittally.

Castiel took a step forward. "Gabriel, you will admit defeat, and you," he directed his glare at Zachariah, "will change him back."

Gabriel howled with laughter, while Zachaiah just smiled and shook his head disbelievingly.

"What on Dad's green earth would make you think I'd do that, little brother?" Gabriel asked in amusement.

"This," Castiel said before snapping his own fingers (just for emphasis, of course) and turning the sucker in Gabriel's hand into a carrot.

Gabriel squawked in horror.

"And I will keep doing that until you change your mind," Cas promised.

"You wouldn't dare!" Gabe cried out.

"I would. Just imagine, suckers to carrots, cake to celery, **cookies to kale**."

Gabriel looked as though he may cry the more things Castiel listed, while Castiel seemed to be enjoying his torture far too much.

"Fine, fine! I quit! Zach wins! Now change it back!" Gabriel cried out.

Castiel nodded, and then the carrot turned back into a sucker (Gabriel looked as though he may cry in relief). Then he turned to looked at Zachariah expectantly.

"Oh fine, ruin a guy's fun," Zachariah sighed out with a roll of his eyes.

Dean was a man again, and he'd never felt better to feel his junk in his boxers (though he tried not to be too disappointed that he never got to check out what he had going on under the hood as a lady).

He also resisted the urge to ask which one of them had turned Cas into a seventeen-year-old (and the subsequent request that could it maybe be done on a regular basis?).


	7. Toddlers of Hell

Prompt from PharoComics: Dean and Cas have been tasked with caring for the hellion toddlers, Sam and Lucifer. Sam is just weird and Lucifer keeps trying to pry his mouth open and shove body parts in, entire head included. It never seems to stop.

Why don't I write more kid fic? It is seriously probably my favorite thing ever to write. I should do it more often.

* * *

Dean could honestly say he was in Hell. He had died at some point, and now he was being punished. The only benefit was seeing Castiel, his best friend (or secret crush, whatever), actually brought out of his calm, nothing-can-ever-bother-me bubble. Which, of course, meant Dean got to comfort him... Maybe that was a little twisted, but beggars can't be choosers, as they say.

"I can't believe our parents thought we had the capabilities to do this," Cas moaned, face buried in his hands.

Dean chuckled and gave his friend (secret crush) a reassuring pat on the back. "Come on, man. It's not **that** bad."

The look Castiel shot him sent a chill down Dean's spine, and if looks could kill? Yeah, he's pretty sure he'd be dead. Except he was already dead because this was hell {even if he was trying to convince Cas otherwise).

"I've died and gone to hell," Cas sobbed, face once again buried in his hands.

Dean winced because, seriously, could the dude read minds? He hoped not because that could be potentially dangerous.

Cas continued, "Why, Lord? Why have you forsaken me? Have I not been steadfast in my devotion? What have I done to deserve such punishment?"

Dean winced. Mellow dramatic much? He was just about to say as much when two toddlers covered in... what the fuck even was that?... ran up, and Dean realized that Cas was not being mellow dramatic at all. Nope. He was being perfectly reasonable in his cries. Dean figured even he, with all his blasphemous ways, didn't deserve this, so certainly the church-going Castiel didn't.

"What the fuck is on you two!?" Dean shouted, which earned him an immediate smack from Castiel.

"Language!" he scolded.

Dean rolled his eyes, ready to tell Cas it was no big deal if he cussed until he saw the grin coming across Lucifer's face. The boy opened his mouth to speak, but Castiel surged forward and covered the boy's mouth with his hand.

"If you ever repeat that, I will make you regret it," Castiel threatened his younger brother with an expression so severe it almost had Dean pissing his own pants. Lucifer, though, just took it in stride, returning Castiel's glower with an angry glare of his own. The two Novak brothers stared each other down for a moment more before Castiel scooped the child up under his arm and hauled him in the direction of the bathroom, Lucifer squawking at the sudden manhandling.

"I don't know what you've done to yourself, but we're cleaning you up," the older Novak informed the younger. Lucifer screamed bloody murder the whole way to the bathroom and after. The sound was only muffled by the door closing and the sound of the water running.

Sam and Dean just stared after them for a moment in shock, until Sam turned around and looked up at Dean, stating, "I don't like Lucifer."

Dean chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his little brother's hair and then thinking better of it. "Seriously, what the hell are you both covered in?"

Sam grinned up at him, and it sent a morbid chill down Dean's spine. "Slime!"

The elder Winchester sputtered for a moment. "Slime!? Where did you- ...You know what, I don't even want to know. Let's just get you cleaned up."

Sam's brow furrowed in confusion. "There's only the one tub."

"Exactly, and you two can share," was all Dean said as he scooped up his own brother, hauling him off to where the Novaks were already.

When Dean opened the door, he froze in his tracks. There was Cas, bathing his hellion little brother. This was not just any Cas, though. No. This was a very shirtless, very soaking wet Cas. This was the Cas that would fuel wet dreams for at least the next month. He could have stood there staring forever, except that Sammy, incorrigible brat that he is, chose that moment to pinch him.

He almost dropped the kid, yelping in pain and shouting, "What the hell, Sammy!"

Sam just squirmed more, shouting, "Put me down!"

Dean grunted, trying to handle the insane toddler strength of his brother without getting kicked in the face. "Sammy! I swear to god, I'm about to throw you in the tub fully clothed!"

Once Sam finally calmed down, both Winchesters realized that there was utter silence in the bathroom. When Dean looked up, he found both Novaks watching them with twin expressions of judgment (raised eyebrows and all). Dean could feel the blush growing all the way up to his hair.

Lucifer turned his attention to his brother, calmly stating, as though he hadn't been screaming like a banshee just moments before, "At least I've never tried to kick you."

Castiel nodded sagely. "This is true."

The thoughts that Lucifer was more well-behaved than him in any capacity seemed to placate Sam into a more agreeable mood. The child patiently allowed Dean to strip him down and place him in the tub. The peace lasted all of not even five seconds.

As soon as Sam hit the water, Lucifer was on him, tackling the other child and prying his mouth open.

Castiel sprung into action, reaching for his brother and trying to pull him off. "What are you doing!?"

"Sam Winchester is my one, true vessel!" Lucifer cried out, making a valiant effort to shove his head into the other child's mouth.

"What the hell do they teach at that weird church of yours!?" Dean demanded of Castiel, reaching for his own brother.

The struggle continued until the bathroom was covered in water. By the end of the so-called bath, neither child could be considered clean still, and the older brothers were both drenched head to toe (not that Dean was complaining about that particular piece of eye candy). They did well just to get the boys in their underwear again, barely managing to keep the boys from each other as they continually were trying to grapple each other (Lucifer still claiming that Sam was his vessel- Cas was going to have to talk to his mother about just what **was** going on in Lucifer's Sunday school class?- and Sam just wanting to fight Lucifer because he didn't like him).

By the time their parents got home, the Winchester house was a disaster, and, of course, both toddlers acted like perfect angels the second the adults walked through the door, making their brothers out to be incompetent fools and bad role models ("Dean and Cas got in the bath together!" was Sam's claim, while Lucifer went straight for, "Dean taught me the word 'fuck', Mama!"). It was awful, and they were both grounded to the point it could almost be considered cruel and unusual punishment, until Castiel, ever the voice of reason, reminded him, "At least we'll never be asked to babysit again."

That was the biggest reward they could have ever asked for. Until about two months later when, seemingly, their parents forgot what a disaster the whole thing had been and asked them to do it again, this time for a whole weekend.


	8. Heaven's Will

Spoilers for episode 10x03. You have been warned. Also, this is unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own, and I anticipate there are many.

* * *

Hannah looks up from her study of the road maps when she hears the car door open. She watches Castiel slide into the driver's seat, a weary expression set on his features.

"How did it go?" she asks. She imagines it went well, but a lot of things that have seemed common sense lately have not been. She's learning there are many more nuances to being human than she ever could have imagined.

"He's cured," Castiel responds, sliding the key into the car.

She furrows her brow, inspecting him. "You are displeased." She isn't asking; she can actually tell. She's getting better at this!

"No, Hannah. Just tired." Castiel sighs.

She stares harder, even more confused. "Why are you lying?"

Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose. "Because Hannah, it's what humans do." He looks up and through the windshield, eyes seeing something far off that not even Hannah can begin to grasp. "It's how they become president."

She is very confused now. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Castiel shakes his head, seeming to clear his vision of whatever mirage he was seeing. "Nothing. Let us leave. We still have a mission."

She wants to place her hand on his, to comfort him. It isn't a gesture she's familiar with, so she believes it must be some sort of sense memory of her vessel. She doesn't, instead asking, "Do you not want to stay?"

Castiel turns his full attention on her. "I thought you didn't approve of the Winchesters."

Her face pinches together in consternation. "I don't. I simply do not understand why, when you have fought so hard to save Dean Winchester, you are just leaving so quickly. It seems... wasteful."

He shakes his head. "You have much to learn about humans, Hannah."

She wants to remind him that he is not human, but it is starting to feel more and more like a moot point the more time she spends in his company.

"Now," he says, cranking the car, "like I said before, we must take no more detours."

She nods, thoroughly confused but not questioning anymore. If Castiel will not admit to whatever is troubling him, she cannot make him. That has been proven time and time again, by many far stronger than her.

As they pull off onto the road though, she finds herself saying, "You will return to him again." She doesn't know what possesses her to say it, only she knows that it's true. Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and all things smaller have before threatened the bond her brother shares with the Righteous Man, and all have failed in that mission. It is obviously her Father's will for this to be so, and so, as she is still a soldier of Heaven, she shall make sure it is so.


	9. Between the Lines

Plain text is dialogue from the actual episode, italics are the actual fanfiction part of this. Because I couldn't help but read between the lines here.

Ugh. I'm such trash. I should be asleep, and instead I'm writing fanfiction. I think I've regressed about ten years.

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own.

* * *

"You look terrible." _Thank God you're you._

"You know it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again." _Where do I even start?_

"No. It wouldn't kill me, I just-" _I just don't know how to do this anymore. I don't know what we are anymore._

"Forget it." _Just glad you're here and you're okay, glad you stopped me._

_Dean. What are we doing? Why are we doing it? I'm teaching Hannah about humanity, and I feel like I still have no idea what any of it truly means. _

"Well you, on the other hand, look good." _Better than good. Shit, Cas. I've missed you Demon or not, I've missed you so damn much._

"So, now you're back?" _Please say yes. I don't think I can do this anymore without you._

"At least temporarily. It's a long story. Crowley, stolen grace, there's a female out side in the car." _It's better this way. If I keep you at arms length, it's safer. We're safer. Hannah, she means nothing, at least not compared to you, but I can't see how it makes a difference here._

_He's moved on. Course he has. Hell, probably nothing to move on from. Just all in my head, same as every other damn good thing._

"Well thank you. For um... Stepping in when you did." _Just like you always do. If I've pulled Sam's ass out of the fire a hundred times, you've done it for me a thousand._

"What's Sam say? He want a divorce?" _Can hardly blame him. Hell, maybe that's better. Isn't that what we decided before this whole demon mess went down?_

"I'm sure that Sam knows that whatever you said, what you did, wasn't really you. Certainly wasn't all you." _You are still the Righteous Man, Dean. You were always better than all that._

"I tried to kill him, Cas." _First time for everything, it would seem._

"Dean, you two have been through so much... Look, you're brothers. It'll take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him wanna walk away." _We've all been through so much. _

"You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense." _Seriously? What self-respecting demon tries to kill anybody with a hammer? Hell, Sammy didn't even sink that low when he was missing a soul._

"I'm glad you're here, man." _I need you, Cas. Always have, always will._

"Hey... Maybe you should, uh... Take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It's uh... I don't know. Timing might be right. Heave and Hell, they seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there." _I need to leave, too. That's the natural order. I told Hannah no more detours, after all._

_Heh. Always the adios._


	10. Family Values

Prompt from pharocomics: Dean and Cas are raising their adopted daughter, Charlie, and it becomes time for... "THE TALK." Humor me.

I feel like she's changing me from the angst lady to the family & kid fic lady lol. She's also making a valiant effort at turning me into the crack lady.

* * *

Charlie knew from the moment her papa stared into space, drew his brow together in confusion, and stated, "I will never understand why it is referred to as the 'bird and the bee.' There is no correlation between the two, and certainly none between those things and human copulation," that this was going to be the most awkward sex talk ever.

"Look, Charlie," Dean began sternly, sitting far too straight-backed and refusing to meet his teenage daughter's eyes, "you're fifteen now. It's time Papa and I talked to you about... certain urges you'll be getting."

"Long past time, probably," Castiel added casually.

Dean's eyes widened comically as he flailed at his husband. "What!? What do you mean long past time!? What do you know that I don't!?" He turned the feral look on Charlie, looking positively heartbroken. "My sweet, sweet baby girl, don't tell me... No! It's too awful!"

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Must you be so dramatic? I am only saying that biologically speaking, she has probably been feeling these urges for awhile now. You remember what it was like."

Dean pouted. Yes, pouted. Dean Winchester, Charlie's overly macho dad, was actually pouting. "That's different, Cas. We're dudes."

Castiel narrowed his eyes and smacked his husband over the head.

"OW! What the hell was that for!?" Dean shouted, wearing a hurt expression and rubbing the back of his head.

Castiel glared back. "For being a sexist idiot. Men aren't the only ones who feel sexual urges, Dean. You are being very close minded."

Charlie had never felt so embarrassed in her life.

Dean glared back. "And how would you know!? Thought you said you'd never been with a woman!"

Cas rolled his eyes again. "First of all, I don't have to have been with a woman to know that women aren't chase, sexless creatures. That's a very disturbing view point, Dean, especially coming from someone who **has** been with women. Second of all, I have a sister, remember? I am well aware of what she got up to in high school and college."

_ Gross!_ Charlie really hadn't needed all that information. She didn't need to imagine her parents' sex life, she didn't need to imagine her dad (who should only ever be with other dudes because seriously?) having sex with women, and she definitely didn't need to think of sweet Aunt Anna as some crazed, teenage sex fiend.

"Cas! Are you calling your sister a whore!?"

"I've called her worse to her face," Castiel deadpanned.

This was getting out of hand.

Taking a deep breath, Charlie tentatively began, "Hey, guys?"

Both of her fathers finally returned their attention to her.

"Look, this is... um... sweet?... and all, but anything you are going to tell me I've already either learned in school or from the internet. Besides, I like girls, so it's not like the whole 'birds and the bees' thing, or 'plugs and outlets' or whatever other corny metaphor you want to use for hetero sex is really going to apply here."

Her fathers stared at her, gob smacked.

Dean was the first one to snap out of it, tentatively asking, "You're gay?"

Charlie nodded slowly, not quite sure what to expect from her dad.

Dean jumped out of his seat, pumping a fist in the air. "HELL YES! I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT DEALING WITH ANY SNOT NOSED PUNKS OR MY BABY GETTING PREGNANT!" He swept Charlie up in a bone-crushing hug. "Oh Baby, I've never been so relieved in my life."

Then Cas was shouting, "Wait a minute! That doesn't mean this conversation is over! There's still safety to discuss!" But Dean ignored him in favor of lavishing adulations on their daughter.

Charlie couldn't help feeling like maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut. As if a regular sex talk wasn't bad enough, she'd now have to endure a talk about lesbian sex conducted by her two very gay (or, well, one very gay and one apparently bi curious) dads. So help her god, if she found out Aunt Anna had any first hand experience to add to the topic, she was running away from home and joining a LARPing community.


	11. The One with the Curse

Prompt from pharocomics: Cas has been turned into a loud, flappy bird and Dean must find someone with magical powers to cure his beloved's condition before 24 hours pass.

I may have navigated outside the parameters of the prompt a little, but... I'm fairly impressed that I managed this at all? I almost couldn't stop laughing long enough to actually get this written. I don't even know... I apologize for this.

* * *

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful child of noble birth named Castiel. Castiel was the fairest in the land, with eyes the color of sapphire and hair the darkest shade of the night sky. Castiel was the crown jewel of the kingdom, until one day an evil witch named Crowley cast a spell on poor Castiel. Crowley, who was jealous of the young noble's beauty and betrothal to Dean Winchester, prince of the neighboring kingdom, turned fair Castiel into a large, black bird.

The kingdom in mourning, Castiel's parents placed their child in a tower hidden away deep in the enchanted woods so that no harm may befall their darling heir.

Now, years later, Prince Dean is on a journey to rescue his beloved from Crowley's spell.

He has already been to see the wise woman Charlie, who informed him, "Dude, have you **never** read a fairytale in your life? **Hello**! True love's kiss? Should totally work!"

With that in mind, the prince traversed the great plains of Lawrence, the Leviathan sea, solved the trickster's riddle (and also may have inadvertently offered his younger brother up as said trickster's bride), and braved Purgatory forest, otherwise known as the _Enchanted woods_ (all the while wondering what kind of psychopathic parents put their kid, alone, in a tower in the middle of this death trap).

Now, Dean stands face-to-face with the large, squawking bird that is his beautiful fiancée, He knows it can be none other than the fair Castiel due to the inky black feathers and sparkling, jewel-like blue eyes.

As he reaches for his avian amour, Crowley appears with an evil cackle.

"Oh, Dean, really now. Why do you need that silly thing when you could have me?"

Dean glares at the witch. "I told you, Crowley. Our time together is over. Why can't you just let it go?"

"So long as I have our precious memories to treasure, I can never let you go. Now come with me"

"I don't take orders from you!" Dean growls, shoving Crowley to the ground with an overdramatic flourish.

"Dean! How could you!?" Crowley wails. "I thought it meant something when we howled at the moon together!"

Dean lifts an eyebrow. "Yeah, if I'm honest, that was a little weird."

Crowley sniffles. "Fine! Have your damn feathered fiancé! I'll find someone else to howl with! I deserve to be loved!" And then he is gone with a flash of smoke.

Dean sweeps the large bird up into his arms and stares deeply into its eyes. "It's time to change you back."

The bird tilts it's head, staring just as deeply back.

Dean presses a kiss to the bird's beak, and it transforms into a very beautiful, very naked man.

Dean's eyes bulge (as well as other body parts a bit further south), and his face turns a bright scarlet befitting of royalty. "You're a dude!?"

Castiel furrows his brow, once more tilting his head to the side. "You didn't know?'

Dean shakes his head mutely.

"Does it bother you?" Castiel asks.

"Oh hell no! I'm relieved, honestly. I was afraid I was going to have to continue pretending to like girls for the rest of my life!"

Then they kiss once more. And again. And yet again. In fact, they end up sharing much more than "true love's kiss" up in that tower. Twice.


End file.
